A reflection on closeness

What's your attachment style?

When closeness feels uncertain, some of us move toward the other person and some of us pull back. This short reflection looks at two patterns, how much you worry about connection (anxiety) and how much you keep your distance (avoidance), and where they place you among four familiar styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant.

It is not a diagnosis, and attachment patterns can shift over time and differ across relationships. Everything iscomputed in your browser as you answer, andnothing is saved or sent anywhere. The questions are original, plain-language items inspired by attachment research, not a published questionnaire.

Fraley, Heffernan, Vicary & Brumbaugh 2011Research behind this

StudyThe Experiences in Close Relationships—Relationship Structures questionnaire (ECR-RS): A method for assessing attachment orientations across relationships

Fraley, Heffernan, Vicary & Brumbaugh (2011). Psychological Assessment.

The ECR-RS measures adult attachment along two dimensions, attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance, which together describe how people respond when closeness feels uncertain.

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Hazan & Shaver 1987Research behind this

StudyRomantic love conceptualized as an attachment process

Hazan & Shaver (1987). Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

Adult romantic bonds can be understood through attachment theory, with people tending toward secure, anxious, or avoidant patterns in close relationships.

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Question 1 of 10

I worry that people I care about do not feel as strongly about me.