How we work
Methodology and sources
This is medical-adjacent content, so we hold it to a higher bar. Every clinically-relevant claim on the site is mapped to a specific source and phrased to match what that source actually shows. Below is how we fact-check, the full reference list, and how the quizzes are built.
How we fact-check
We sort claims into three confidence levels and write accordingly:
- EstablishedWell-replicated findings we can state plainly.
- NuancedTrue but easy to overstate, so we hedge and add caveats.
- Contested or mythClaims we deliberately avoid, or flag as myths, even when they are popular.
A few examples of that discipline in practice: we say rejection engages brain circuitry that overlaps with physical pain, never that "the brain can't tell the difference" (later research shows separable patterns). We attribute the Rejection Sensitivity Questionnaire to Downey & Feldman (1996), not "Dodson." We treat the evolutionary account of exclusion as an idea scientists hold, not a proven fact. And we do not publish the "take acetaminophen for heartbreak" claim as advice, because the evidence is weak and the safety risk is real.
The quizzes are educational, not diagnostic
Our quizzes are for self-reflection. They cannot diagnose anything, they run entirely in your browser, and they never save or send your answers. Each one is adapted from a published measure. Where reuse terms for exact wording are unclear, we write original educational items based on the underlying construct and cite the original authors here rather than reproducing protected text.
- How sensitive are you to rejection?. Adapted from the Rejection Sensitivity Questionnaire lineage (Downey & Feldman, 1996, and the adult A-RSQ). We use original, plain-language scenarios rather than reproducing protected item wording.
- Your inner critic vs. your inner ally. Built on the self-compassion construct (Neff). Items are written in original educational language rather than copied from the published scale.
- What's your attachment style?. Based on the dimensions of attachment anxiety and avoidance (the ECR-RS tradition, Fraley). Items are original, mapped to those dimensions for reflection only.
- Fear of being judged. Based on the construct of fear of negative evaluation. Items are written from scratch as educational prompts rather than reproducing a copyrighted measure.
This site shares general education grounded in research. It isnot medical advice and is not a diagnostic tool. For anything affecting your health, safety, or daily life, please talk with a licensed professional. In a crisis, see help now.
Full reference list
(2022). 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. 988lifeline.org.Resource
In the U.S., people in distress can call or text 988 to reach the free, confidential 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7.
View source →(1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin.Review
The need to belong is a fundamental human motivation, and lacking stable, caring connection harms wellbeing.
View source →(1993). Chicken Soup for the Soul publishing history. Author interviews and press coverage.Article
The first Chicken Soup for the Soul book was reportedly turned down 144 times before a publisher took it on.
(1996). Implications of rejection sensitivity for intimate relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.Study
Rejection sensitivity is a validated research construct, the tendency to anxiously expect, readily perceive, and overreact to rejection, measured by the Rejection Sensitivity Questionnaire.
View source →(2003). Does rejection hurt? An fMRI study of social exclusion. Science.Study
Social rejection engages brain circuitry that overlaps with the affective (distress) side of physical pain, which is part of why it can feel like real pain.
View source →(2010). Reward, addiction, and emotion regulation systems associated with rejection in love. Journal of Neurophysiology.Study
Romantic rejection activates dopamine-driven reward and craving circuitry, which helps explain the urge to obsess over a former partner.
View source →(2011). The Experiences in Close Relationships—Relationship Structures questionnaire (ECR-RS): A method for assessing attachment orientations across relationships. Psychological Assessment.Study
The ECR-RS measures adult attachment along two dimensions, attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance, which together describe how people respond when closeness feels uncertain.
View source →(2024). Candidate Experience Report (2024). Greenhouse Software.Report
61% of U.S. job seekers in the 2024 report said they were ghosted after a job interview, and 18 to 22% of jobs posted on the Greenhouse platform in a given quarter were classified as "ghost jobs."
(2015). The ordinal effects of ostracism: A meta-analysis of 120 Cyberball studies. PLOS ONE.Meta-analysis
Across 120 Cyberball studies (about 11,869 people), being excluded reliably causes real distress, a large and one of the most replicated effects in social psychology.
View source →(1987). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.Study
Adult romantic bonds can be understood through attachment theory, with people tending toward secure, anxious, or avoidant patterns in close relationships.
View source →(2024). Crisis Centres directory. iasp.info.Resource
The IASP maintains an international directory of crisis centres and suicide-prevention resources by country.
View source →(2011). Social rejection shares somatosensory representations with physical pain. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS).Study
Intense social rejection can also engage somatosensory brain regions involved in physical pain sensation.
View source →(1983). A brief version of the Fear of Negative Evaluation Scale. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.Study
Fear of negative evaluation, the worry about being judged unfavorably by others, is a measurable trait assessed by the Brief Fear of Negative Evaluation Scale (BFNE).
View source →(2007). Self-compassion and reactions to unpleasant self-relevant events. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.Study
People higher in self-compassion react to rejection and other unpleasant self-relevant events with less defensiveness and less emotional reactivity.
View source →(2016). Why You Should Aim for 100 Rejections a Year. Literary Hub.Article
Writer Kim Liao reframes rejection as a goal: aiming for 100 rejections a year means you are submitting your work often enough that some yeses become likely.
View source →(1962). Publishing history of A Wrinkle in Time. Biographical and press accounts.Article
Madeleine L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time was rejected about 26 times before publication, after which it won the Newbery Medal.
(2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity.Study
Self-compassion, treating yourself with the kindness you would offer a friend, is a measurable trait linked to greater emotional resilience.
View source →(1986). Confronting a traumatic event: Toward an understanding of inhibition and disease. Journal of Abnormal Psychology.Study
Writing privately about an upsetting experience for a few sessions can, for some people, support modest improvements in wellbeing over time (a moderate effect).
View source →(2012). When leaving your ex, love yourself: Observational ratings of self-compassion predict the course of emotional recovery following marital separation. Psychological Science.Study
After a marital separation, people who showed more self-compassion tended to recover emotionally faster, an effect observed across roughly nine months.
View source →(2000). On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft. Scribner.Book
Stephen King has recounted throwing the early manuscript of Carrie in the trash in discouragement, after which his wife Tabitha retrieved it.
(2009). Kathryn Stockett on the path to publishing The Help. More magazine / press interviews.Article
Kathryn Stockett has said her novel The Help was rejected about 60 times before it was published and became a bestseller.
(2024). Find A Helpline. findahelpline.com.Resource
Find A Helpline is a free directory that lists vetted, free, and confidential support lines by country.
View source →(2007). Ostracism. Annual Review of Psychology.Review
Scientists believe our strong reaction to exclusion may have deep evolutionary roots, because being cut off from the group once threatened survival (an idea, not a proven fact).
View source →(2014). Separate neural representations for physical pain and social rejection. Nature Communications.Study
Physical pain and social rejection have separable neural patterns, so it is not accurate to say the brain cannot tell the difference between them.
View source →